Value People Thru’ Relationship

Relationships are perfect with all fights and fancy dreams. The dream of having a perfect partner with fairy tale stories and he-man dramatization thrills the body and the mind. Everyone is longing to have a perfect match but “not everyone fits the mold”. Accepting a person with their “faults and flaws” brings a beautiful meaning to the relationship.
Relationship starts with a good note and turns out to be an ugly fight and then struggles a lot to be with the person in the name of “Love and Affection”. When love turns to be a bitter experience and love is a curse then why wrestle a lot to be in the relationship. Does it makes sense? The response might be yes or no. Whatever may be the answer ultimately we need a person of our choice to be with us in the life journey.
How are we choosing that person? What makes us feel good about that person? What brings us close together? It’s a million dollar question to be asked to oneself. When given a deep thought, the mind throws back thousands of question to us and heart looks for the reason why did I fall for that person alone when I had a better option.
Is it his behavior, approach, smile, personality, education, social status, family background, character, attitude, caring, attractive, public personality, finance, vibration, chemistry, friends, support, and guidance? The list is endless and figuring out the right meaning in the initial stage of relationship is much easier than asking a person who has been in the relationship for months and years.
A person who sparks the mind at the first sight, whose memories brings happiness, whose presence makes the place warmth, conversation enthralls the mind, and action speaks a lot. Each of his words and actions always conveys a pleasant meaning. Such a wonderful relationship is being tarnished due to various life incidents and thinking of that person name itself brings anxiousness and restlessness to the body and mind.
Eventually, the reason for accepting a person has become the reason for rejecting that person. Many reasons to justify each of our points and each one reason is valid to the core. The reason could be too much of familiarity, judgment on each other, past experiences, accumulation of events, piled up emotions, unaddressed concerns, picking upon words, misconception, difference of opinions, perspectives, family background, childhood upbringing, cultural values and belief systems. Most of the time, the challenges are for multiple reasons and fights are revolving around the “words”.
Mending such relationship requires decent amount of time and patience from both the parties. When emotion rules our world the reality doesn’t appear to be normal. Doing small exercises at home will bring drastic changes in life. Most importantly, before practicing such exercises the individual must have to work on their shortcomings and limitations. This would help to accept and leverage the other person’s talents and potentials.
Initially, need to set the ground rules before starting any exercises. Need to focus on situations and outcomes not on person’s behavior and words. Analyze the situation from other person’s perspective and then get into the discussion. While having discussion, follow the ground rules. When deviating from the process, need to keep reminding each other on the same. This will help to draw a rational conclusion and emotional satisfaction.
Relationships has their own advantages and disadvantages in some situations. At the end of the day, people in that relationship matters not the situations or his behaviors. Value the people in the relationship to value the relationship.
Chellam Narendiran
+91 – 98433 14949
Srijan Counselling Services

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