Pre-Marital Counselling Helps In Better Understanding Between Families

Every parent’s dream is to hear the wedding bells of their prince and princess. They build their child’s marriage dreams from day one of their presence in the world. The dream of preparing for the big day becomes their lifetime achievement. They carefully save their earnings and sacrifice their happiness to give the best for their child on the “Big Day”. Such a wonderful moment is hardly been cherished either by parents or children.
Most of the time the wedding preparation of the parents is been unrecognized by their children due to various factors as well as children’s preference been overseen by their parents. This starts right from the alliance process and the blame game goes forever. The word sacrifice is been used right and left for every discussion and everybody in the game feels been taken for granted.
To avoid such painful moments, family pre-marital counselling helps in understanding each one’s perspective in a better manner. It is because the schools of thought of parents and children’s needs are completely different. Though, the concept of the institution of marriage holds strong values.
To bridge the gap between the generations, would like to recommend three fundamental processes and ways to go about it. The first process is understanding the requirements of the bride and groom which include physical appearance, professional qualification, financial stability, family background, social status, physical/medical fitness, and emotional well–being.
The second process is identifying the must-have and prefers to have choices in terms of compatible and comfortable areas. The third process is feel-good factors which could be a car, bike, locations, lifestyle, and accessories.
The second process plays a vital role in shortlisting the prospective profiles. The must-have factors need to be clearly defined and have an option of a minimum of one to a maximum of three. Among the three at least one should be non – negotiable and the other two could be a negotiable factor. They prefer to have is a brownie point which will complement the must-have aspects.
It’s ideal for all the parties to work on this process to set the ground rules for discussion. The process of choosing the right fit is tedious at the same time being open to choices and preferences unlocks many prospective doors to examine and explore. The so-called right match comes with his / her limitations and boundaries. Be ready to accept a person with his / her flaws and families with their margins and borders.
Both parties need to be considered in accepting and welcoming a son or daughter’s spouse with his family, having an open conversation with both the family members and partners conveying the expectation in the right manner would lead to constructing a healthy life. Need to realize marriage is not between two people. It is actually between two families coming together to build a new family for their generation to live a happy life.
Chellam Narendiran
+91 – 98433 14949
Srijan Counselling Services

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