A beautiful saying, “A friend in need is a friend indeed”. Much importance is given to friendship to make our life beautiful. It understands the language of love, affection and care only. Feelings are beyond senses, intuitions rule the heart and mind. Feels the breath of trust and honesty. Two souls in a body makes the life happy and pleasant.
The best childhood stories we heard about friendship is between Kopperunchozhan (The King of Chola) and Piciranthayar (The poet from Pandava kingdom). They heard about each other in their dynasty and bonded with an emotional attachment. Theydidn’t see each other.When the King decided to die by the Vadakkiruthal (ancient method of sitting facing the north and starving to death), he wanted to see his friend Piciranthayar. Eventhough the poet was in a far away Kingdom, the king knew that his friend would come at the right time. He asked to leave a space for him. The other wise men that were with him were skeptical about this statement. As the King said, his friend Piciranthayar came to the place. He died along with the King. Such friendship exists then and now.
Unfortunately, many of us didn’t realize the value of friendship. It becomes more materialistic and subjective. We value friends through numbers, social likes, calls, connects, popularity, agreeable words and actions and polished talks. It becomes quantitative measurement. Once the numbers vary between each other then the situation changes, the so called friendship turns into bitterness and blame each other for all the reasons best known to each of them. Adding to the situations, we have so many so called good friends will add their thoughts to spark the fire, which is already fuming inside the heart. Then, we commonly say friendship is all about use and throw. Failed to admit that I built the friendship with my friends based on objectives than with a real feel for each other.
This situation would change, when the friendship is built on qualitative measurement. Irrespective of the above said incidents, when started valuing people the situations become pointless. Friendship is built on core values such as integrity, love for self, acceptance for others, being open for discussion, open for criticism, agree to disagree and care for everyone that includes friend’s friend and their families.
When I betray my friend or vice versa, it means I don’t value myself, no respect and acceptance for self. When I reject someone, underneath the mind says I reject or delete that particular incident not the person involved. If I reject the person, it means I reject myself. Friendship is all about accepting self and others with their limitations and for whom they are.
Friends are the precious gift for life time. They turn charcoal to polished or unpolished diamonds based on their willingness to learn, grow and accept each other. Remember in friendship, people are good. Situations make them to react differently. Make friendship based on values to enjoy the fruit of its happiness for life time.
Chellam Narendiran
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Srijan Counselling Services
Make Friendship Based On Values For Unending Happiness
